Eaten Alive

1.Do you have trouble getting up in the morning?

2. Do you have trouble opening jars?

3. Do you need help getting dressed?

These are just a few of the questions that seem to be on every medical form I fill out dealing with my arthritis.  I was always able to very safely and smugly answer no, no & no!  Sure I have pain, and sometimes it even lasts for a few days, and sometimes it's horrible.  But it goes away or I get my infusion and I am back to normal.  Normal being some pain, some fatigue & some swelling, but not enough to stop me.

Well I've been stopped.  For about a month, maybe more my right foot has been in such pain.  It's swollen and keeps me up at night.  I can barely walk.  Running?  Exercise?  I've worked out my whole life.  If I miss 3 days in a row it's due to Christmas, vacation or an illness.  It's a huge part of my life.  Well I've been jaded by pain and I just don't care.  I don't care that I am out of shape and it will take me months to get back to running where I was.  I don't care because there's literally nothing I can do about it. 

This is my life.  Right now.  I am seeing a specialist tomorrow with my new insurance.  Why did I wait so long?  I thought the pain would go away.  I thought I could will it away. 

I was talking a nurse a while back who said the x-rays of one of her arthritis patients looked as if all her joints had been  gnawed on by rats.  I hope that's not my case.  I hope I haven't waited too long. 

Well, that's what's going on around here.  I hope I feel better very, very soon because I know 3 little kids that have been thankfully much nicer than they've been naughty (& they are naughty!!!)  and we are loving the excitement and anticipation of the season.