My best friend Shauna lost her mom 3 weeks ago. It was sudden & unexpected. She was in great health, 57 years young and died right in her sleep, no warning, nothing.
My family drove the 2 hours north to Santa Clarita ( a suburb of Los Angeles) on Saturday to be with her family and attend the Memorial Service. Shauna spoke so eloquently as she always does and made us all laugh and cry.
Shauna did not grow up religious. Her parents never married and they were both alcoholics, how's that for a happy childhood? But her parents always loved each other & got along and although it was a continuous uphill battle her mom quit drinking for good with the help of AA.
Shauna found religion through a cute boy she met at college. She knew if she wanted him she would have to get her life in order and change a few things.
Our religion is not an easy one. My own brother says it's not for converts (and he went on a mission!). True it is not for the faint of heart. To be a Latter Day Saint requires lots of work & lots of faith. But the peace that comes from living our gospel is the biggest blessing.
Although I should be an expert on my religion having lived it my whole life Shauna is truly such a wonderful example to me. She continually leads by example and is ever so patient with my downfalls.
Her faith has been tested much as of late. She gave birth at 26 weeks to her 7th child who will be in the NICU for another month. A few weeks later her mom died. While she was in Santa Clarita ( a six hour drive from her home in San Jose) getting her mom's house in order she got the call that her 11 year old son broke his arm at Scout camp!
Did I find a basket case when I arrived to be with her. Not at all. I found a strong woman with faith that could move mountains. I mean that literally. She is of course heartbroken to have lost her mom, her kid's grandmother, her sadness will I am sure continue to surprise her when she least expects it, but I know she is not bitter. I know she holds no resentment to God for the onslaught of trials lately. She is still happy to be a mom. Happy to have a husband she adores. Happy to be supported by her friends right now. And happy to be alive!
I know Shauna & I know she still gets on her knees everyday to thank God for all the many wonderful blessings she has. It's who she is.
I also get on my knees and thank God to know her. She is wonderful. She is strong. She will get through this. She will not be brought down. She will not break.
Im so sorry for her loss, but she sounds like an incredibly strong woman. I am sure she appreciates having you by her side during there trials!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about Shauna's loss and her trials of late. She is so lucky to have you as a friend though, Marie and I'm sure she knows it.
ReplyDeleteI am so sad to hear of Shauna's trials and recent loss. She appears so strong and such a woman of faith. I believe God has blessed each of you with each other for times such as this.
ReplyDeleteOh no. I am so sorry for her loss. Losing your mother young is hard. My husband understands that since he lost his when he was 27. You are right when you said sadness will surprise her unexpectedly. I'll pray for her, and her sweet baby in the NICU.
ReplyDeleteShe's blessed to have you as a friend, too. I hope you see that!
I am sorry for your husband too Sarah. Life is a blessing, every day is a true gift.
DeleteThat is a lot for someone to face all at one time. Bless her heart!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for her loss.
ReplyDeleteShe is (obviously) an exceptional person.
And her friend (you) is 'big', too.
Oh my gosh, it sounds like you have an amazing friend that knows how to face struggles and make the most of life. I'm glad you are there to support and encourage each other, especially during the bad times.
ReplyDeleteWow. She is a strong woman with all that is going on.
ReplyDeleteYep, that's a lot to have on one plate! But life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% what you do with what happens to you. I think you find in situations like that, that you are stronger than you think!
ReplyDeleteMy deepest condolences to your friend. This is so rough.
ReplyDeleteI wish I grow up to be as strong as her.
ReplyDeleteDear Marie,
ReplyDeleteYour words are so touching. I don't know that I deserve all you've said, but I will say that I am happy right now to be supported by friends. When I saw you walk into church, for the service I felt some of my burden lifted. I can't tell you how much I love you because there are no words. I do have moments where I am almost stopped inu tracks by the realization that my mom is gone, but what I am most grateful for is that I can still be happy.
Marie I learn from you too. I don't think I would be, in part, the woman I am today if I hadn't met you. I love the strong head on your shoulders, your devoted efforts to be the best person you can be and for loving me and really showing care and concern for me too. I have appreciated your calls and checking in on me. I also love what you said about the gospel. It's true. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me, hands down. The attonement is what keeps a smile on my face and feeling happy despite hardships that are innevitable. I love you Marie, it was so good to be with you on Saturday-you have no idea-
Love you
Shauna
Hey Shauna- I am so so so sorry about your mom. You were an amazing daughter to her and that is such a comfort. I am sorry about your early delivery! Please update us on how the baby is doing. What is the baby's name? I wish I lived closer to you all of a sudden, but we can pray for you. Love you!
DeleteWilliam. He's doing better every day. It's almost too much right? Shauna's a trooper, as you well know life is full of the unexpected trials and I know she'll pull through.
DeleteLove you Shauna! Hang in there!!!! My thoughts are with you.
DeleteShe sounds like an incredible woman. I'm so sorry for all that she is going through right now, and glad you could be there to support her!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that Shauna is going through all of this but I know from what you have written of her now and in the past that if anyone can find the strength to get through all of this...it is her. She is a wonderful person. You two are very blessed to have each other.
ReplyDeleteMarie, thank you so much for posting this. I had wondered where Shauna had gone. If it's not too insane to ask, would you be able to share Shauna's e-mail address with me? I would like to be able to drop her a note. If that is possible, my e-mail address is tenaciouslyyourskm at gmail dot com.
ReplyDeleteAll of that aside, I truly believe that pain shared is pain halved. While we can't take on every burden for our loved ones, our presence makes a difference. You are SUCH a faithful friend to Shauna and she is lucky to have you.
Thanks Kat, I will send you her email. I agree, support makes all the difference.
DeleteMy heart goes out to Shauna...she juggles more and does it way better than I ever could. I admire her and she inspires me to be a better person! And you do too.
ReplyDeleteWishing you both a restful and much deserved nice weekend!
So sorry to hear about your Friend's mother. And I am sure she find great relief in the fact that she has such a supportive friend in you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about her loss.
ReplyDeleteMy heart just hurts for Shauna. What a blow to have lost her mom. I will keep her in my prayers for her continued strength and the strength for her little baby.
ReplyDeleteGod only gives us what we can handle and he must know that Shauna is freakishly strong.