Painful

 My first clue that something was wrong was a debilitating pain up my whole arm.  I had to sleep on the couch a few days because the moaning just kept Glenn up.

Many doctor visits later I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis.  It was a relief to finally have answers and make a game plan for how I would handle it.  At first I took pills.  But the arthritis progressed and a minute into a run I would walk home in tears.  The tears not so much for the pain, but because I couldn't believe I couldn't make my body do what I wanted.

Remicade was a dream come true.  An infusion that for many years made me whole.  I was so pain free in fact that I decided to go off all my medication.  My doctor agreed I was in remission and I left that day and never looked back

As much as a 'dream' as remicade was, it is also a fairly recent drug which means who knows what prolonged usage does.

After a little more than a year of being pain free the pain has slowly crept back.  Mainly in my hands and feet.  It didn't stop me, just made life a little more painful.  Every step taken in a 6 mile run is felt.  Every bottle I open is a struggle.  But it's livable, I wasn't hurrying back to my doctor.

But last night changed everything.  The pain in my left shoulder started about 3pm.  I popped a vicodin and was able to attend a church function that night I had committed to.  As soon as I got home the pain intensified.  I popped another pill only to have it do nothing.  I was crying and moaning and thrashing about so I took my broken self down to the guest room as I didn't want to keep Glenn up all night.

Truth be told it was just a nice gesture.  I really thought I'd settle down and fall asleep. 

No such luck.

Glenn left me another pill, a stronger one that I didn't think I would need but very soon was gulping down like a madwoman.  It didn't help.  It only made me nauseous and want to vomit. 

The pain progressed to the point of childbirth pain, my shoulder was on fire.  I didn't think arthritis had it in her, but apparently this is not a one trick disease.  I tossed & turned all night mumbling, asking God to make it stop, shaking, playing soft music and moving into a million different positions.  I was desperate for some sort of relief.

Eventually the paid did subside in 10 minutes increments and then I would gear up as I felt the pain come back stronger and harder for another 30 minutes to an hour.  I am guessing I slept about an hour last night.  How am I even functioning?

I am better today.  I still can't put my hair up, my ponytail in the picture is compliments of Lila.  It's still hard to dress.  I can only move my left arm from the elbow down.  I have new insurance now and haven't been approved for remicade yet.  I pray I will. 

Reality Bites

After a 2 month break we're back to work as Emry has started play practice for the winter performance of 'Fiddler on the Roof'.

The winter play is typically a smaller cast than the spring play.  Additionally some of the heavy hitters have graduated or gone on to other performance venues.  This coupled with the fact that Emry has honed her acting chops with her big role in 'The Wizard of Oz', and we all thought she was a shoo in for any part she wanted.

We thought wrong.

Let the tears and teen angst begin.  When the parts were posted Friday evening at 5pm Emry rushed to the computer to see who she would play - more specifically to see her name by the character she wanted.  It wasn't there, or by any other role.

She is grouped under 'Papas'.  Not only does she not have a name but she is a man.  A dad.  A papa.

I found Emry on her bed crying.  Emry never cries.  She was crushed.  My heart broke for her.  What could I say, what could I do?  I briefly thought about talking to the director, picking her brain about this decision.  But then I realized I am not that mom and I don't want to be that mom. 

Glenn was of course the voice of reason as he said "She just needs to get over it". 

After crying for a few minutes and feeling sorry for herself she was over it.  As hard and fast as the tears came they were gone and Emry is happy to go to play practice, sing, dance and just be a part of it all.

1 heartbreak over with, - only a hundred million more to go.

Etc.

 Some random photos that never made it to a blog post.  Sorry pics, I obviously set really high standards for this blog and you just didn't make the cut.  Until now.

Ethan's self portrait.  I keep telling him to 'go ahead & use my camera' since the reverse obviously isn't working.

I am sure Emry took this.  There were about 15 of these exciting photos.  I've taken to calling her the mad scientist because she loves destroying my kitchen with experiments, loves insects and explosions and she's so dang smart....... but the girl can't pick up a towel to save her life.

My birthday.  The kids couldn't wait to give me their gifts until I was photo ready, it had to be the instant I came in from a run.

 As I snapped this Ethan said.  "Don't put this on your blog".  Right.

Cousins playing dress up.  Lila looks like she's been crying because she was.  She didn't like her makeup, she thought it made her look ugly.  Girls.  But what a trooper she smiled anyway! (kinda)

A meal I made for a friend who had just had a baby.  I was really proud of this quinoa salad because I threw it together without a recipe and it was delicious.  It had sweet potatoes, apples, dates, feta and walnuts in a vinaigrette over greens.

Emry made a microwaved cake in a mug and wanted me to try it. Nothing like taking a break from working out to eat cake.

Never posted a 'first day of school pic' & now you know why.  Lila even said it was her most 'unfancy first day of school outfit ever'.  The time just got away from us that morning and before you know it I am taking a pic in front of the crosswalk at school.

 The scene of my backyard during a BBQ with friends.  Mass kids.  Always.

Before church the kids were hysterical at a game they made up.  Emry was doing some fruit ninja thing.  It made no sense whatsoever but what do I know, I am just a grown up.

Rolling On

The other day my little Holy Roller asked if we could get a "Jesus" sticker for our car.  I am not sure about the rest of the country but here in little ol' Temecula in Southern California there are a ton of Christian folk.  I knew exactly what he was talking about because I've seen a few of those stickers myself, they take up the whole back window.  The entire window!!!  I am impressed with their devotion.

Ethan's love for our Savior was touching but I had to tell him that instead of 'screaming' our love for Jesus maybe we should be a tad more respectful. 

It is very common in the Latter Day Saint culture to have "CTR" (choose the right) "BYU" (Brigham Young University) "LDS" (Latter Day Saints) &/or "Families are Forever" bumper stickers.

I wanted to encourage his desire to share with the world how he felt so I went to our church bookstore later that day.  I bought a very cool "LDS" sticker and couldn't wait to put it on the car and surprise Ethan with it.

Turns out a black sticker on a black window doesn't work that well.  At all.  $3.95 down the drain.

When I went back to the bookstore a few days later all they had was a smallish "CTR" sticker.  Sold.

Ethan loves it. 

Truth be told since I am now acknowledging to all drivers what a proud Latter Day Saint I am my driving has greatly improved.

Shirley Temple Hair

Since I have straight hair I have always been obsessed with curly hair.  Of course.  I've tried so many curlers, curling irons & hair products throughout the years trying to get that elusive curl & body.

A few weeks ago in church I noticed my friend Shannon's daughter had this amazing curly hair.  Of course I noticed, it was beautiful and I wanted it.  I asked her what she used and she said she would check and let me know.  Days went by and when I emailed her about something else I put in an "oh yeah, can I get the name of those curlers?"  After bugging & hounding her I finally got the name "Curlformers".  I burned it into my memory, they would be mine.

Shannon mentioned I might want to take a friend who had their beauticians license so I could get a discount on the curlers as they are kind of pricey.  I said I would, but then rushed to 'Sally's' later that day.  I can be frugal, but what's 20 or 30 bucks, I can afford that, why bug anyone?  I couldn't wait to get my hands on them.

$72.95??????  It was so crazy I had to laugh.  I also had to go home and call my beautician friend Tiffany as we were dealing with a tad more than the price I had made up in my head.  After her discount plus the store's in store coupon for them (the stars were aligned for me that day) I got them for $50. 

Oh I love these things so much.  Right on the ad it says "A hair curling Revolution", & it's true!!!  I am in love with these curlers. I only wish I had been so smart to come up with the genius idea of  the design.

I also wish I hadn't passed on my curly hair obsession to Emry so I might get a chance one of these days to see how MY hair turns out.

Bike Train

Every week the kid's Elementary School holds a 'Bike Train'.  They set a meeting place and encourage all the kids to meet there and bike to school.  This was a special one as Olympian Sarah Hammer biked with us.  She lives in Temecula and just took home a silver medal in this past Summer Olympics.

Too busy biking to get a pic of the actual bike train but here we are at the school.  I think close to 100 kids all biked there together.

Our Mayor Chuck Washington.  I love this guy.  He is perpetually happy and a genuinely good person.  I've met him a few times and he is always all smiles.  Last year Lila went on a field trip to City Hall and time was running out so the mayor told the kids they would run through City Hall.  Lila thought that was so awesome.

Rest assured, greasy hair never stops me from taking a picture.

*Little side note.  We left our home at 8 am to make it to the bike train by 8:30.  I wanted to have plenty of time because the meeting spot was all uphill for us and I thought we would have to walk our bikes more than we did.  I also wanted to give the kids plenty of time to talk to Sarah before everyone got there, plus I am just a really prompt person (or really try to be).  Between that, all the hoopla, actually getting to the school, taking pics and talking to some friends I didn't make it home until 9:10.  70 minutes to get my kids to school?  Well, they had fun and as parents that's all that really matters.

Shopaholic

I've realized a truth about myself.  I am a clothes snob.  I used to think I wasn't.  That I wore my second hand clothes with humility.  That it was okay to have a packed closet because they were thrift store finds or hand me downs.

When I receive compliments on those castoffs I'll happily boast that they were mere dollars at the Goodwill or found under a heap at a garage sale.

People always think I am a genius for getting such cute clothes at bargain prices.

Double whammy!  You like my clothes & you think I am smart?

I have enough dresses to wear a different one to church the whole calendar year.   Probably a bit much,no?

 And I MUST put on lipgloss before I demand my 7 year old take a photo of my most recent & favorite find.

It's time to face the facts that I am just like every other woman in the world.  I love clothes. 

I said it.

Huntington Beach

Some of our best friends from NorCal, the Nelson's, were vacationing at The Hyatt Resort in Huntington Beach this past weekend.  To make it happen for us all we had to do was sign up for the Hyatt credit card and just like that, a free 2-night stay was ours.

There is nothing my kids love more than staying in a hotel.  They love the ice machines, running up and down the halls, room service (even if it's not utilized it's comforting to know it's there).................... (note the cooler, of course I brought food)

.....................maid service, sleeping close to us, general swankiness &.................................

.........................access to T.V.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is by far their favorite thing as we don't have T.V. at home.  They probably would have been content to stay in the room the whole time.  I could literally see their head melting in on their brain as the days went on.

As we're walking up to the front desk to check in Tyler (we're friends now)  asks about Glenn's surfboard.  Then Tyler says it was his.  Yup, Glenn bought the board last year off Craigslist from his mom!  Tyler starts saying how much his mom loved Glenn and that his board went to a great guy.

Before we know it Tyler's upgrading us and handing the kids free coupons for s'mores kits to roast at the pool side fire pits.  We were blown away that at this humongous resort we would find the one guy out of hundreds who would have a connection with us.  We were talking so much I guess we didn't really listen to the upgrades.

The first morning there Glenn headed out to surf and Emry got up way too early.  I asked her to head down and try and find a reasonable place to eat.  Being the snoop she is she worked her way up to the 4th floor and saw a club.  Being the fearless girl she is she tried our room card and whaddya know?  It worked!

Emry nonchalantly asked if she was allowed there.  The girl said if our card worked, we were in.  That meant free breakfast, free drinks & snacks all day, free appetizers and desserts.

You would have thought we won the lottery.  I was psyched!!!!!  Tyler had given us access to the Hyatt Regency club, oh it's good to know people in high places.

{there's a banana somewhere to go with that peanut butter}

Glenn & I felt so cool as we told the kids to have whatever they wanted, money was no object :)

The kids were as psyched as I was apparently as I found dozens of pictures of all the breakfast offerings.

Hot chocolate.  Always.

Did I mention there were waterslides?  Heaven on earth for the kids.  Did I also mention that the previous night our friends sprang for dinner.  So far our total bill is, um, ZERO.

Funny I think Glenn got serious about working out when I started this blog.  I am sure it's just a coincidence.

Emry is a curious one.  She loved just watching the bartenders make drinks.  After a while they gave her one..............on the house of course.

Glenn & I lounged the morning away giving thanks that our kids were all old enough to watch themselves.

Ethan reminded us we still had kids when he came screaming bloody murder.  Turns out it was just a bee sting.  I told him now that he knows what it feels like, when he gets another one he better shrug it off.  I CAUGHT bees when I was his age.  I got stung for sport.  Suck it up Ethan. (I really did, I loved bees)

Glenn never did end up surfing, the waves were too big and choppy.  And I never got a good group shot with my friends either dang it.  But that surfboard was still our lucky charm.  And it was wonderful to be near the ocean and relax with the kids for 2 days.

Labor Day 2012

Every year my friends have a Labor Day Party in their cul de sac.  This year they really stepped it up with the water slide, this thing was massive!

Not sure how this Gap ad got in my pictures but seriously, could they be any cuter?

My kids look forward to this day so much.  As soon as we park the car they jump out and I don't see them again for about 7 hours.  Every year as they get older I get more lax, I am pretty sure their lunch consisted of snow cones and ice cream. 

And you better believe the adults have just as much fun as the kids.

Julie, Danielle (I could be wrong about her name, I am the worst) ,Jen (hostess), Rachel (hostess and Australian native with the most charming accent & blog reader, HI Rachel!!!) me, Sue, Jeannette, Lisa. 

Between all us mommas we have 30 kids.  The fact that we're still sane just means we have very supportive husbands.

Sue's youngest Cali Jane.

My sister Jeannette and Jason catching up while grabbing some lunch inside.

Our good friend Eric Lundquist (Julie's husband) with their youngest son Troy.

Emry loves, loves, loves babies.  This is our friend's Stephanie & Chris' baby girl Kynslee.  After 3 boys Stephanie can now adorn a child with ridiculously adorable headbands.

 This is Ethan Downs.  Glenn grew up with the Downs in San Jose and now we all live in Temecula.  Ethan's dad Paul dislocated his shoulder on the water slide.  Luckily there were 2 Doctors at the party who popped it back into place.

My Ethan

About two seconds after this picture was taken Jen (Paul's sister, Jason's wife) was thrown into the pool.  Good times.

 My sister Jeannette with her kids Nathan & Keira.  Ethan's in the background :)

Glenn entertaining everyone per usual.

There was so much delicious food but after a while I told Glenn to run to the store to get ice cream for all the kids (little & big).  Glenn thinks everyone eats like him and brought back $70 worth of ice cream.  I thought it was a little much until I realized my own kids had about a dozen between them.

Thanks Opus One Residents for the most fun Labor Day slash my birthday party ever.