Good grades are important to me, more the effort it takes to actually get the grades whether good or average is what I am proud of, & what I'd like to reward. But then I have this conflict in my head that I am taking away my child's inherent ability to be proud on their own terms instead of mine.
Therefore I am not a parent who gives money or rewards based on grades. I think that can definitely work for some kids, but I don't feel right about doing it myself. I want my kids to feel that they are making us proud and meeting our expectations, but at a base level I want them to take complete ownership of their grades and strive to do better to create a better future for themselves and society. I want them to experience the joy that comes with a job well done, with Glenn & I out of the equation.
That said last night getting Drumsticks (the ice cream, not the chicken) at Walmart, Emry picked up a pack of gum and said it was her favorite flavor and so hard to find and could she pay me back at home. I said sure and then a minute later picked up a second pack, a little 'good job on your grades' I would surprise her with at home. Then a second later inspiration overrode the cheapskate in me and I grabbed another pack.
So there you have it. In the Wallwork home straight A's gets you 3 packs of gum.
And if you think that's no big deal you seriously underestimate Emry's love for gum.
My kids love gum so much it's rediculous. They beg for it. Some of them said it was the only thing they wanted in their stocking.
ReplyDeleteWe just got back from Dell's party. Lanny and Lorane "here" were there. We had a great visit for a few hours. I love them. It was good to see Thira too, haven't seen her in months. Love you,
Shauna
Yes this year is your fortieth and it better not be looking too tired because the planning has already begun...it's on! .... But I still have to talk to Glenn, minor details....hahaha
Thats a nice prize :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure my kids would love that as well.
I love your blogs layout!
I love it! Great that you want the kids to see good grades are their own reward, but a little gum doesn't hurt either!
ReplyDeleteAww that's cute :) Back when I lived in Ukraine, my teacher would give us these bunny pictures if we did well in school. Then my grandma would reward me with beads (I used to bead a lot as a kid). Definitely a great inspiration to do well in school. When I came to Canada (around 11 years old) my parents didn't care, I don't think they ever even saw my report cards and still don't. It all depends on the actual child and whether they like to study...
ReplyDeleteOh I wouldn't go that far, I love to see their grades and especially love to see what their teacher wrote about them. Good thing your parents had a very responsible child. Emry talks about going to medical school like you. She is FASCINATED by the human body. She loves blood and guts and all that stuff.
DeleteJust catching up with all your posts. Happy New Year. :) I have the same opinion as you when it comes to rewards. But yeah, sometimes, it's nice to surprise them wth that extra reward too. :)
ReplyDeleteI do think that gum is a big deal! Mostly because my parents would never let us chew it (they thought it was tacky?) and of course I don't let Maya chew it (yet). So I think you are a super amazing mom for letting her have this!
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday Marie....hope your weekend is going well.
I love how you're raising your children. THIS is how people should do it...I watched as people went crazy over Christmas getting KIDS dvd players and life size stockings full of candy. I want that Mr. Rogers sentiment back and take it back old school like you do, fantastic job, mama!!!
ReplyDeleteyou're a good momma.
ReplyDeleteI think gum is the perfect reward. It was out of the blue and it is something that she loves. I do the same thing. I want my girls to work hard to reap the benefits not to expect some prize ribbon at the end.
ReplyDeletehahaha! i would totally love three packs of gum for good grades! ;D
ReplyDeletei hope you are having a happy day.
xo
purposelyathome.blogspot.com
HAHAHAH i love this story!!! you are a sweet mama, and i love your guidelines for rewarding grades :)
ReplyDeleteHa! Well, whatever works, right?!
ReplyDeleteNow I want gum. I"ve been good...!
That's a good principle. I think some kids need rewards like you said. Going to try without first! :)
ReplyDeleteI would love to try that priciple of not rewarding on getting good grades. Good for Emry!! so proud.
ReplyDeleteI think you're such a great mom (and I think you know that already.:)). I totally agree with you here.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I love gum, too. :)
I agree about not rewarding good grades with money or gifts. I think because she wasn't expecting something in return for her grades that the gum was a pleasant surprise.
ReplyDeleteA small reward here and there can't hurt. I think it is the expectation that is built up for some children that they are entitled to a reward that takes the fun out of learning.
ReplyDeleteAt my children's school they don't get grades but are just expected to complete their work plans each week and if there are any issues that teacher and child address it.
I hope Emry enjoys her gum...will she stretch it out to savor each piece?