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My kids are literally growing right before my eyes.  I see it everyday and I don't like it.  When they were babies I couldn't wait for the next milestone -  crawling, walking, talking -  it was all so exciting.  But now I am done with them changing.  I am done with them outgrowing my arms and running towards something bigger and better.

I admit I was (am?) weirder than most parents.  I watched my babies sleep.  I didn't like to get babysitters (much to Glenn's dismay), I didn't send them to preschool because heaven forbid they should learn something without my being able to witness it.

Of course I would get frustrated at the disaster that was my house, but when Glenn took them to the beach for a few hours so I could get some work done, suddenly it didn't matter anymore, I wanted to be with them.

When you have a baby, or 3, so many moms and grandmas smile at you and say "Enjoy them while they're young, they grow up so quick".  I got really good at smiling at them, truly appreciative of the attention they were giving my little ones, but I would hug my chubby baby harder while inwardly thinking, "what do they know, my baby's not going anywhere".

Turns out they knew a lot.

I knew realistically there would come a  day when they'd all be in school, but I didn't think it would happen so soon. 

So now my house is spotless.  Groceries are bought, dinner is prepared, laundry is done, the dog gets attention, I actually get dressed instead of wearing workout clothes all day and I've had time to broach this new fangled thing called a computer and start a blog.

I guess I am all sentimental because we watched a few hours of home videos on Sunday afternoon.  My kids can't get enough of their younger selves.  I love watching them dance around (dancing figures into about 95% of our footage) and truth be told I love watching me.  My clothes are thrown together, my hair is in a ponytail, I have no makeup on and should have been running from the camera.  But I didn't.

I am glad I didn't because I am always so happy in those videos.  Happy that Emry is jumping naked on the trampoline.  Happy that Lila is pretending to be a cat in her dress-ups.  Happy that Ethan is dancing to a singing frog.  I can hear it in my sing-songy voice and see it in my eyes how much I truly love those little kids.

And no matter what trials and angst may lie ahead of us, I am glad they have proof of how much I relished in them.  All 3 of them.

But I still have many more memories to make, so slow down already.